To win the battle.

“Don’t waste your life putting yourself into a pressure cooker.”  The speaker started his speech with these words.  Lisa and I were attending a seminar.

For some days I have noticed Lisa is not as free and easy with me as she was beforehand. She is somewhat disturbed. As she is introvert by nature, so I was waiting for the moment when she herself discloses what happened to her.  But soon  I watched she is becoming gloomy day by day I presumed she is under stress for some reasons. We were sitting on a bench in the park. She kept her head on my shoulder and remained silent for a long time.

Are you in a problem, sweetheart?

I can’t bear any more.

What hurts you? I liked to know.

I can’t bear the burden of the work pressure which is mounting up day by day.

Lisa is a sales executive of a large group. I know that as the company was lagging far behind the target Lisa was warned.  During the first quarter, she could not make any sizable improvement. So her job has become at stake. I tried my best to console her and told that there was enough time to bridge the gap and make a good start afresh. Further, the sales of the company are not the sole responsibility of you. There are experts and various wings to think over it. She should continue to do her job sincerely and wisely. Besides she has to find any ways to improve the sale.

But my advice did not make any impact. She could not come out the anxiety and worries. Her anxiety and worries rather made an effect on her health. Her blood pressure became higher and others problems arrived. So we one day went to a clinic to consult the doctor.

The doctor examined her and then said – The entire problem she is having, nothing but due to stress.  I’m prescribing some medicines but it is better to go for stress management.  Then he advised us to attend a seminar which was scheduled on the very next week and Lisa and I both were attentive to when the speaker started.

“You know,” the speaker continued -you will be unable to find out a man who has no stress on him. Every one of you knows the name of Lord Buddha. One day a woman came to him carrying her only little child who all on a sudden died. The bereaved mother thought Lord Buddha could give back the life of her child. So she placed the body of her son at the feet of Lord Buddha and implored him to make her son alive. Buddha tried to console her. But she was so pertinacious that getting no alternative Lord Buddha suggested her one way to revive her son.He asked her to collect some mustard from any house where the death never entered. The mother with great hope went door to door for a handful of mustards from such a house. She knocked on every door of the village and the next village and the next. But she could not get any house which was never haunted by death.  So when she returned to Lord Buddha she sat still at His feet with silence. Lord Buddha then said – You see, there is not a single house that has not faced the death. You accept it and let the soul of your son be free from your bindings of love, who is eager to meet the eternity”.

So as to your problem of stress, if you think that you alone are the prey to it that is wrong. But you who are unable to bear the pressure of it are living in a pressure cooker. Why has someone been suffering from stress when another one has been living simply with it? That is depending upon your capacity for tolerance. Why tolerance becomes the factor? Because if you cannot handle the odds- you face in your life, you lose your capacity for tolerance. Someone is confident and someone has no confidence at all.

Every one of you has a limit on everything, so as to in case of handling the situation. At a certain level, everyone breaks down. So when you are not able to change the situation you simply accept it. I know one fellow who once came to me with a problem. He told that he was being harassed by one of his lady colleague who was holding the same post in the same office. After a thorough investigation, it was found that the lady was jealous and envious by nature. She had the character to make someone her target and always she used to try defaming him/her in the eyes of other colleagues. But it was not a natural behaviour, so farther investigation revealed this fact that from her childhood she had to struggle a lot and she was also oppressed mentally in her married life. She always had been suffering from an inferiority complex. This complex made my fellow prey to her mental problem. The fellow was introvert and very soft by nature could not handle the situation properly. He was advised to inform the higher authority in writing and not to show any reaction for the misbehaviour of that lady colleague which she was demanding. So long the lady was in that office the man did not show any reaction and at last, the lady left the office forever.

So you have to find the way to sort out the problem and its solution. If you see that you have no way to come out better accept it like the fables of Lord Buddha. Don’t revolt and curse yourself. But always try to find the alternatives that may help you to come out of the stress. So that you may not have to be in the stressed condition, better you keep some guards in your mind. They are trustworthy and helpful too.

Try to share the problem with someone who will give a patient hearing. It’s not obligatory that he will solve your problem. But when you discuss with him it will act as a balm for your headache. Even if you get no such a guy with whom you may share, simply write down the problem that pinches you. Then you yourself write the possible ways to solve the issue. You certainly get some relief as well as ways some solutions if you can think positively.

Spare your leisure with the friends and family where you feel comfortable, laugh, enjoy jokes,  cuddle someone whom you love most, or play any games or simply go to a gym to make a regular habit for exercise, it helps to release the safety valve of your pressure cooker and lower your stress.

Indian Rishis –saints, thousands of years ago invented some techniques to take control of own body and mind that is known as Yoga. It included many processes of breathing exercises that are called Pranayam. It helps in a great way to control stress and anxiety. But you need an efficient guide for this.

Meditation is also a very good remedy for stress. You have not to go anywhere, not to any saint or any priest. You relax, simply seat in your room making a calm and quiet environment and inhale and exhale your breaths a few times then try to concentrate your mind on the point which is between the two eyebrows.  It’s very simple but very tough because within seconds your mind will start to travel from this thing to that. But you have to be firm in keeping your mind on that particular point in a vacant mood. It needs regular practice. In the beginning, you may take help of some soothing sounds that are freely available on the internet which are made for meditation purpose.

Be positive when you are pressurized to a great extent try to find out your lacking which you should rectify and take it as a lesson to enhance your own qualities.

Don’t forget we through the journey of our life  must have to see the dull days where we have no control even if we try our best we can’t control every happening of our life, so acceptance and forgiveness will be effective and sometime we should forget those days because the rein was never at our hand.

Stress acts as one of the major cause of too many diseases like High Blood pressure, Cardiac problems, Asthma, Obesity, Mental disorder, Infertility and many others. So we must never let it go free. Instead of keeping ourselves in pressure cookers you should bottle it so that it never comes out and if comes out we have to have the capability to bottle it up again.

Lisa and I came out of the seminar hall. We were walking gently side by side. Lisa grasped my hand warmly. I was glancing at Lisa. Did she get the strength to win the battle? I could not guess.